“So many of our dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then inevitable.”

Christopher Reeve

 

 

Father’s Eyes

 

A teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship.  Even though the son was always on the bench, his Father was always in the stands cheering.  He never missed a game.

This young boy was still the smallest of his class when he entered high school, but his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to.  Yet, the young man loved football and decided to hang in there.  He was determined to try his best at every practice and perhaps he'd get to play when he became a senior.

All through high school he never missed a practice or a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years.  His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him.  When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on."  Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did.  The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul into every practice and, at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed.

The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father.  His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games.  This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in the game.

It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big playoff game, the coach met him with a telegram.  The young man read the telegram and became deathly silent.  Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My father died this morning. Will it be all right if I miss practice today?"  The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, "Take the rest of the week off, son, and don't even plan to come to the game on Saturday."

Saturday arrived and the game was not going well.  In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate.

"Coach, please let me play.  I've just got to play today," said the young man.

The coach pretended not to hear him.  There was no way he could take a chance in this close playoff game. However, the young man persisted and, finally, feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in.  "All right," he said.  "You can go in."  Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes.  This little unknown who had never played before was doing everything right.

The opposing team could not stop him.  He ran, he passed, blocked, and tackled like a star.  His team began to triumph.  The score was soon tied.  In the closing seconds of the game, the kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown.  The fans broke loose.  His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders.  Such cheering you've never heard!

Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had left the locker room, the coach noticed that the young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone.  The coach came to him and said, "Kid, I can't believe it.  You were fantastic!  Tell me what got into you?  How did you do it?"

He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?"  The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play."

 

Story from lovetolearnplace.com

 

LESSONS FOR LEADERS:

 

What we see in our mind’s eye is far superior to what we see with our own eyes.  The father went to every game for his son because he knew that one day the success that was already in his son would have a chance to shine.  The father did not need his eyes to see the greatness that lay within his son – he “saw” the young man’s potential so he reaffirmed that inner hero with his consistent attendance.  The father’s presence was the son’s inspiration.

 

Absence is not a reward for excellence.  As a leadership trainer, I cannot count the times that I have counseled professionals to spend time with their best team members.  Too often, leaders develop the mistaken notion that their strongest players are the ones they don’t need to spend time with – they don’t need to “attend” their functions or workplace.  Nothing could be farther from the leadership truth.  When leaders spend time with their high performing or high potential team members it signals their support and motivates their continued growth.  Time is one of the most precious commodities we can offer so when we spend time with another person we acknowledge their value and reward their effort.  We do not need an agenda or an action plan or a punch-list for time spent with our top performers; our presence is simply enough.  They will take that motivation and run with it.

 

The patience and persistence of the son also holds insight for us as leaders.  For years, the son worked diligently toward a goal of playing in a game.  He did everything that was asked, prepared himself and supported his teammates.  Season after season, he kept his dream alive.  We often praise the action quality of leadership but we can miss the value of stalwart patience – the power in preparation, the significance of calm.  But patience does not mean hibernation.  Being vigilant for opportunity does not preclude making one when the time demands it.  The son’s persistence in gaining playing time after his father’s passing is the result of his confidence spilling over into the moment; an unstoppable desire to excel when it mattered most.  That’s a quality all leaders share; the ability to not be denied when a critical window of opportunity opens. 

 

Leadership isn’t about how many minutes we play but rather what we do when we get our chance.  It isn’t about whether you’re in the headlines or on the sidelines; it’s about being ready on the frontline when it matters.  Leadership is supporting what we can’t see but that we know is there.  It’s about helping others see the hero inside each of them.  Leaders don’t reward people with their absence; they inspire them with their presence.

 

Leaders have the courage to see the greatness in all of us.  In the end, the son didn’t become a star because his father died; his son was already a star because of how his father lived.

 

 

 

“I have learned, that if one advances confidently
in the direction of his dreams,

and endeavors to live the life he has imagined,

he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

Henry David Thoreau

 

Blindsided

 

It takes courage to follow your dream.  But it can take even more courage to reshape one.

 

Ryan, grew up dreaming about playing football for Syracuse University.  Shortly after his mom died, when he was 9 years old, the idea of someday making the SU football team became a passion for Ryan, something positive that he focused on, something good that made him forget at least for a little while his grief.  He wore SU colors, went to games in the Dome, watched SU on TV and pretended to make the big game-winning play in front of his hometown fans.  Ryan dreamed in orange.

 

The shape of that dream came in his sophomore year, in a JV football game against Bishop Ludden.  With 17 seconds left and trailing by one point, Ryan made a 27 yard field goal – his first attempt ever in a game – to give the Mustangs the win.  His teammates mobbed him and later he declared that he wanted to be a place kicker and play for Syracuse when he graduated.  The dream was on.

 

In the years that followed, Ryan worked hard for that dream.  He poured himself into it year-round.  At first, it was a self-taught passion but later it was under the mentorship of one of the best kicking coaches in the country, Paul Woodside, who would take his skill to new heights.  On varsity, he made 7 field goals, including 2 game-winners, one of which, ironically, was a 38 yard kick in the Dome in the 2006 opening win against Jordan Elbridge.  Ryan earned all-league and all-star honors and finished his senior season ranked # 26 in the country by ESPN.  Colleges courted him, some offered him but in the end he wanted to go only one place – Syracuse.

 

Ryan’s commitment paid off.  Head Coach Greg Robinson welcomed Ryan to the Orange football team as a walk-on in September 2007.  He proudly wore jersey # 38.  Playing behind an upperclassman, Ryan learned the college game, trained, practiced and used the past two years to hone his skill and condition his body.  He excelled, posting the 3rd highest GPA on the team, Dean’s List every semester and earned a coveted orange jersey for exceptional off-season work ethic.  He was primed to compete this year, knowing SU had graduated their senior kicker.  His dream was in view and he was ready.

 

But then change swept in.  A new head coach and a new special teams coach would combine to unravel his dream.  Ryan dominated his position on day-one of spring practice this past March.  On a bone-chilling day, with temps in the teens and winds gusting to 20 knots, Ryan out-performed the team’s other two place kickers by nailing 19 of 23 field goals; better than the other two kickers combined.  His kicks impressed two Syracuse assistant coaches, Conley and Anselmo, who both congratulated him on a very good job in tough conditions – praise which made the following day’s events seem surreal.  A sudden text message to meet with the head coach, a five minute exchange and the dream was over; Ryan was cut from the roster and left wondering what madness he had just been swept up in.

 

But Ryan left with class despite coaches who ignored his top performance and told him that it didn't matter how many kicks he made because they were cutting all the place kickers so that they could recruit their own.  It was heartbreak for a player who had worked hard to get there but was now not going to be given even a chance to compete simply because another coach had brought him in.  Ryan left stunned and disappointed but with his head up, realizing that there was nothing he could do in that situation except look for a team that would value his skills, grades and character.  He knew they were out there and he was right.

 

Forty eight hours after his official release, Clemson University called Ryan to see if he would come south this fall.  He had been recommended to the Tigers by an NFL kicker Ryan had worked out with who heard what happened to him at Syracuse.  Interest from Stanford University followed.  Within two weeks, more than a dozen Division 1 teams jumped at the chance to have him on their roster.  What caught their eye, aside from his Dean’s List grades, was a brief highlight video on YouTube that showcased Ryan’s skill (click on the “LINK" to watch it) – there’s always a market for the determined!

 

New times ahead!  Ryan trades in Syracuse orange for Temple cherry this fall, accepting an invitation to join Temple University's football team and play for the Owls with his remaining 3 years of eligibility.  Temple is led by Al Golden and a superb staff, the school's academic reputation is excellent, the football program is rising and the fit as a place kicker could not be better; plus its Philadelphia campus is just 4 hours from Marcellus.   There was a lot to like in this move.

Temple went 5-7 last year playing in the MAC but lost 5 games by a combined total of just 9 points -- the Temple coaches know Ryan can make a difference there in the coming years.  Ryan can't wait.

Opportunity is where you make it and Ryan is excited as ever to make it on this new stage!

 

LESSONS FOR LEADERS:

 

For Ryan, the dream was finished but the dreamer was not.  What a powerful lesson for us as leaders that despite our best efforts and preparation in pursuit of a worthy objective we can be derailed by forces outside our control.  Some dreams die, some are assassinated.   Regardless, leadership requires us to move past the “why” and find the “how” – how to move forward, how to create new opportunity, how to remain masters of our own destiny and not victims of someone else’s mistake. 

Ryan knows that life is not fair.  It's one of the truths he had to face with the death of his mother.  There is no logic in what happened to Ryan at Syracuse; no fairness in having his life’s dream blindsided without a chance to compete for it.  Ryan could have been forgiven for becoming bitter or angry but he had more character than that.

 

Instead, Ryan just took the truth and left the room; buoyed by the knowledge that there was nothing he could do in this situation; he had done everything that was asked of him but if he was not going to get a chance to compete, not going to be judged on his performance, then his dream no longer existed there.  Ryan found the courage to reshape his dream to fit a new and unanticipated reality.

 

Being a leader means not letting disappointment paralyze our actions, not accepting the irrational as truth, not letting someone else dictate our goals or our life.  Being a leader means not languishing in the injustice of an act; not debating the incompetent or incoherent.  Leaders know you can lose a battle and still win the war.  Leaders do not fixate on what other people do to them; they focus on what they can do to move beyond the madness of the moment.  Action, not anger, is the leader’s secret.

 

By recognizing that this was a circumstance out of his control and beyond the reach of logical discourse, Ryan was able to move past it quickly, take actions to establish a new direction, and channel his energy, emotion and behaviors into constructive, positive steps that eventually resulted in a situation that is as good, perhaps better, than the one before.  That’s self-leadership at its best – an example of how leaders should respond when decisions are made from above that disappoint or derail them. 

 

We face these moments all the time as leaders, tough to swallow, bitter pills that come down to us without warning.  How many times do we labor for a goal, work long hours, accomplish extraordinary milestones only to have that goal dismissed by a new boss, a new policy, a new plan.  How often do we see our efforts – our dreams – become collateral damage to circumstances we can neither anticipate nor control?  It happens all the time.  How we react to that loss says a lot about who we are and sets an example for those we lead. 

We can all take a lesson from a 20 year-old kicker who is an expert in navigating the unseen gale – get over it quickly, don’t make their poor judgment yours.  One door closes but another opens – you just have to go find it. 

 

The dream does not make the man, the man makes the dream.

 

 

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”
Scott Hamilton

 Standing Tall

Anthony Robles was born to wrestle.  In fact, he is gifted, almost supernaturally at one of the world’s oldest competition sports. 

Uniquely athletic, Anthony started doing push-ups before he went to kindergarten and by the sixth grade he broke every school record for the exercise at his school in Mesa, Arizona.  But it was in 8th grade that Anthony first discovered wrestling while tagging along with an older cousin who was on the high school wrestling team.  Without hesitation, Anthony hopped on the mat and started mixing it up with one of the team members.  He was hooked and the coach was impressed. 

The first time Anthony participated in organized wrestling was his freshman year of high school. He finished sixth in the city. As a sophomore he was sixth in the state.  He won state titles as a junior and senior, going a combined 96-0, and capped his high school career with the 112-pound title at the 2006 High School Senior Nationals and a scholarship to Arizona State.

  

"I want to be a (collegiate) national champion first, but then I'd like to be on the Olympic team," Robles says. "Maybe try to go once or twice and win a gold medal."

 

Anthony Robles is as unconventional as it gets. He bench-presses 300 pounds, enormous for someone who weighs just 125.  That would be like an NFL linebacker benching 600 pounds.  Impossible.  Anthony can do 50 pull-ups on command, and he can flip upside down and walk on his hands back and forth across the wrestling mat.

 

Ranked in the top 20 of the NCAA National standings, Anthony was a finalist for a 2006 ESPY Award and was the recipient of the 2007 Gene Autry Courage Award.  He finished 4th in this year’s NCAA National Competition in the 125 pound class and is one of the most respected student-athletes in any sport.

 

Anthony has accomplished all this – and so much more – with a disability that would have sidelined lesser men.  Anthony has just one leg.  He was born without even a right hip bone and discarded a prosthetic limb at age 3 – opting instead to hop or use crutches.  Anthony transformed  all those supposed weaknesses that come from missing a leg into strengths on the mat.  His upper body is enormous for his size.  So is his strength.  And his grip?  Like a hand from hell is how some describe it.

 

With good coaching, Anthony uses a style that takes advantage of his strengths.  Anthony started wrestling from his left knee, with his foot behind him, poised to push off.  In the short space of a wrestling mat, he has explosive quickness.  He crouches low on his knee and pushes off with his foot like a sprinter coming out of a starting block.  Wrestlers call the technique the "ball and chain."  The opponent becomes the ball, and Anthony reels him in.  "It's hard for people because I am so low like that, and I take advantage of my upper-body strength," Anthony says.  

 

"That's what I love about wrestling -- whatever your strengths are, you build your style around those.  The best wrestler wins.  Whoever works harder and wants it more is going to win.  Everybody's going to lose once in a while, it's just going to happen, but this is a sport where anybody has a chance."

 

But as great as Anthony’s accomplishments have been on the mat, his true legacy is in the people he inspires with his heart and courage.  Not long ago, a woman approached Anthony as he was hanging out with his parents after a match.  This woman, a stranger, was crying as she approached Anthony but she managed to gain her composure enough to hand him a note and point to a teenage boy in the crowd.  Anthony read the note, excused himself and went up into the crowd to speak for awhile with the boy.  When he came back, he handed his parents the note.  

"It said (the woman's) son had been fighting cancer and had to have his leg amputated," Anthony’s mother, said.  "Anthony had inspired him to wrestle."

  

LESSONS FOR US AS LEADERS:

 

We all live with disability.  Some more obvious than others but all with something to overcome.  The real difference then between those who succeed and those who fail is not what we are given but what we make of what we are given.

 

Most people would see crutches as a liability.  Anthony saw them as an advantage – the constant gripping they required strengthened his hands far beyond other athletes, giving him an advantage when it came to securing an opponent.  Most people would see the absence of a leg as a barrier to athleticism.  Anthony saw it as a gift that allowed him to focus fully on developing other parts of his body – honing upper body strength for instance or working on explosiveness from the leg that he did have.  Most people would work to hide their disability.  Anthony works to reveal the champion he is despite the disability.  You see, most people see only the excuses they can use in the face of adversity but thankfully Anthony is not like most people.

 

As leaders, we need to take lessons from the Anthony’s of the world.  We must be the purveyors of “how” not the echoes of “why”.  How can we meet our goals?  How can we inspire our team?  How can we excel in every facet of our work and life?  When we put our talents in motion toward solving problems, creating solutions and relentlessly pursuing excellence we push past those things that would hold back the fearful or discourage the hesitant. 

When we are doing, we are not stewing.  Quit complaining about how bad something is.  Leadership is about compensating for what we don’t have by maximizing what we do.  It’s about believing in the possible long enough to make it happen.

 

Too often, we allow leadership to be defined by those who sanitize it or analyze it or link it to the bottom-line and not the frontline.  We have a tendency to make leadership a “science” or layer it in complexities that must be accompanied by certifications or validations. 

Truth is, leadership is as simple as good, everyday decision making.  It’s an art that needs to be experienced firsthand not studied in a lab.  Leadership is not defined, it’s expressed.  We know it when we see it – especially when people show us in their deeds what it is to lead from the heart.  Like a one-legged man who is already a champion not because he was given more than others but because he believed he had more to give than others. 

What are you doing today to be that kind of leader?

 

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.”
Christopher Reeves

 

No Losers

 

They played the oddest game in high school football history last fall in Grapevine, Texas.  It was Grapevine Faith vs. Gainesville State School and everything about it was upside down. For instance, when Gainesville came out to take the field, the Faith fans made a 40-yard spirit line for them to run through.  Did you hear that?  The other team's fans?

 

They even made a banner for players to crash through at the end. It said, "Go Tornadoes!"  Which is also weird, because Faith is the Lions.  More than 200 Faith fans sat on the Gainesville side and kept cheering the Gainesville players on—by name.  "I never in my life thought I'd hear people cheering for us," recalls Gainesville's QB and middle linebacker, Isaiah.

 

And even though Faith walloped Gainesville, 33-14, the Gainesville kids were so happy that after the game they gave their head coach, Mark Williams, a sideline squirt-bottle shower like he'd just won state. It has to be the first Gatorade bath in history for an 0-9 coach.

 

But then you saw the 12 uniformed officers escorting the 14 Gainesville players off the field. They lined the players up in groups of five—handcuffs ready in their back pockets—and marched them to the team bus.  That's because Gainesville is a maximum-security correctional facility 75 miles north of Dallas. Every game it plays is on the road.

 

This all started when Faith's head coach, Kris Hogan, wanted to do something kind for the Gainesville team. Faith had never played Gainesville, but he already knew the score. After all, Faith was 7-2 going into the game, Gainesville 0-8 with 2 TDs all year.  Faith has 70 kids, 11 coaches, the latest equipment and involved parents.  Gainesville has a lot of kids with convictions for drugs, assault and robbery—many of whose families had disowned them—wearing seven-year-old shoulder pads and ancient helmets.  So Hogan had this idea.  What if half of our fans—for one night only—cheered for the other team?  He sent out an email asking people to do just that.  "Here's the message I want you to send:" Hogan wrote. "You are just as valuable as any other person on planet Earth."

 

Some people were naturally confused. One Faith player walked into Hogan's office and asked, "Coach, why are we doing this?"  And Hogan said, "Imagine if you didn't have a home life.  Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you.  Now imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."

 

And so, on that night, the Gainesville Tornadoes turned around on their bench to see something they never had before.  Hundreds of fans. And actual cheerleaders!   It was a strange experience for boys who most people would cross the street to avoid.  “These people, they were yellin' for us!  By our names!” said Alex, a Gainesville lineman.  Maybe it figures that Gainesville played better than it had all season, scoring the game's last two touchdowns.

 

After the game, both teams gathered in the middle of the field to pray and that's when Isaiah surprised everybody by asking to lead.  "We had no idea what the kid was going to say," remembers Coach Hogan. But Isaiah said this: "Lord, I don't know how this happened, so I don't know how to say thank You, but I never would've known there was so many people in the world that cared about us."  And it was a good thing everybody's heads were bowed because they might have seen Hogan wiping away tears.

 

As the Tornadoes walked back to their bus under guard, they each were handed a bag for the ride home—a burger, some fries, a soda, some candy, a Bible and an encouraging letter from a Faith player.

The Gainesville coach saw Hogan, grabbed him hard by the shoulders and said, "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."

 

And as the bus pulled away, all the Gainesville players crammed to one side and pressed their hands to the window, staring at these people they'd never met before, watching their waves and smiles disappearing into the night.

 

Original story by Rick Reilly, ESPN

 

LESSONS FOR US AS LEADERS:

 

"You are just as valuable as any other person on planet Earth."

 

The leadership lessons in that one statement are as profound as any we might encounter in a dozen best-selling business books.  Perhaps more so, because the intended recipients of that message were young men who before this game may never have experienced that sense of value or even believed in their own self-worth.  Certainly, they were a group that had never received so valuable a gift from complete strangers.  But one man’s leadership sparked actions that led an entire community to rally behind kids who no one had ever supported; the leader of one team became the model for every team.  

 

How powerful a message do we send as leaders when we proclaim the intrinsic value of every member of our team?  And how much greater is that message when we extend that belief even to those we oppose with respect?  The inspiration of Coach Hogan’s leadership in this game was that he didn’t just lead his team to victory; he created a situation where there were no losers.  His leadership transcended the game and made a difference on levels far deeper than the scoreboard.  In the end, Coach Hogan’s players understood how fortunate they were for the life they had, his assistant coaches saw firsthand that they could have an impact far beyond the field, the opposing players experienced a sense of belonging and support that they could not have imagined, the opposing coach shared a depth of gratitude for a gesture he could never have expected his team to receive, and a community discovered the pure joy of cheering for someone who has never heard a kind voice raised on their behalf.  So many lessons; one humble act of leadership.

 

As leaders, we need to believe that every person has value and that one of our responsibilities is to find ways to lift people up even when others discard them.  Leadership is creating opportunities that transcend the moment; opportunities where your example can inspire not just direct; opportunities where the benefits of your actions spill over the boundaries of your span of control.  In “doing our job” let’s not limit the impact of our efforts or see the ultimate measure of our success as wins and losses.  As a leader, let’s recognize that it’s a different game when you coach the outcome not just the score. 
Leading the favored is easy; championing the outcast takes courage.  Winning has many faces – even ones you may never know.

 

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