With the first third of the regular season now completed (8 of 24 regular season games), it is time to take a look at how the Blue Balls' A squad has faired so far.
Scoring: The Balls are scoring at an all time clip thus far this season. As of press time, the Balls were the highest scoring team in all of NESHL men's league hockey. Yes, you read that correctly, we score more goals per game than any team in NESHL, from the top A level all the way down to the D level, we reign supreme when it comes to depositing pucks into the back of the twine. At the moment, we have scored 63 goals in 8 games for a 7.88 goals per game rampage. However, when you have given up 48 goals in the same number of games, for a goals against average of 6.00 per game, you need all the scoring you can get. However, since we ice a team with only 2 true defenseman (Luke Irwin and Dan Haskins), and one of them is drunk for half the games, it is no wonder we are the offensive juggernaut that we are. The top offensive teams in NESHL are as follows:
1. Labatt Blue Balls - Metro Boston A Division: 7.88 goals per game
2T. Titans - Metro Boston A Division: 7.75 goals per game
2T. Excercise RX - Metro Boston A Division: 7.75 goals per game
4. 5.0 Hurricanes - South of Boston C Division: 7.44 goals per game
5. Matadors - South of Boston D Division: 6.91 goals per game
Since the website does not allow me to separate the B team stats from the A team stats, they usually look skewed because the Baker Brothers play twice as many game as everyone. However, I have compiled the stats from just the A team, so we can see how we are scoring relative to each other during only the A games.
| Name | GP | G | A | PTS |
| Kenny Cleary | 8 | 15 | 11 | 26 |
| Rick Baker | 8 | 5 | 18 | 23 |
| Andy Baker | 7 | 10 | 10 | 20 |
| Mike Dryer | 6 | 6 | 9 | 15 |
| Steve Kelleher | 8 | 4 | 10 | 14 |
| Matt Dalton | 5 | 8 | 6 | 14 |
| Chris Trovato | 5 | 6 | 6 | 12 |
| Steve Reilly | 6 | 6 | 5 | 11 |
| Greg Mailloux | 2 | 1 | 7 | 8 |
| Luke Irwin | 5 | 0 | 7 | 7 |
| Derek Hadley | 5 | 2 | 2 | 4 |
| Dan Haskins | 6 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Rob Taylor | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Griffin Biedron | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
The Top Ten Things We Can Learn From These Stats:
1. Kenny Cleary is on pace for 958 goals this season.
2. I only account for 5 of my line's 30 goals scored, so basically I couldnt score on a hooker with a wadful of Benjamins.
3. However, my linemates pretty much score on every pass I make since I have 18 assists.
4. No one ever scores on the passes Dan Haskins makes. We have a league high 63 goals and he has one apple. Someone bury for the kid.
5. Greg Mailloux needs to show up to more games. The kid gets 4 points per game and gets more assists per game than Gretzky.
6. I can no longer say anything to Trovato about his inability to score since he has more goals (6) to my five in 3 less games.
7. Rob Taylor has been a healthy scratch 7 times thus far this season.
8. Luke Irwin has 0 points in the 2 games he played drunk, and 7 points in the 3 games he has played sober. Hypothesis, he is much better sober.
9. Matt Dalton needs to go on vacation more. He has 6 goals and 5 assists in his 2 games since vacation, and only 2 goals and 1 assist in the 3 games before vaca.
10. Mike Dryer leads the league in toe drags, with Steve Reilly a distant second.
So there you have it. The Balls are off to a 4-3-1 start and hopefully as the team begins to mesh well after a few team functions (read: drinking) the second and third period of the season will be even better. Of course, I couldnt get rid of Dryer's poem just yet, so it is below for your reading pleasure if you haven't seen it already. Also, be sure to scroll all the way down and read the Labatt Blue Ball Dictionary article as well. Have a Happy Turkey Day and make sure to drink a few brews.
