It's always interesting to see people that put their personal agenda so far above everyone else's that they spend years agonizing and laboring over something to the point of distraction. You wonder what they will do with their time after the matter is discarded. However, I am sure there will be another item that they feel they need to spearhead for "the good of all". Some of these people were even heard to say "I don't care about a plan that makes everybody happy, I just want myself taken care of". Wow, It must be fun going through life in your own little Idaho. Actually, these are probably the people that got beat up through their school years and now feel that fighting the people that were presumably their tormentors should take center stage in their life.
Congrats to the High School, the thousands that use the athletic fields, and students on getting the parking lot propsal approved.
These two newbies to the Miller "Love-Dare" program join Derek Mason in the Miller "Altar Call 2010" Bliss bonanza. Once again the Millers prove to be the salve that soothes the single mans wounds. Once again love conquers all, and once again the Millers will flock to showers, stag parties, grooms dinners and nuptuals much like the swallows returning to Capastrano. Nice work by all involved in the 2010 love fest to follow the lead of so many prior Miller leaders and schedule these events after the completion of the season. It seems that we have all learned a valuable lesson after the Bray/Goethke double in-season debacle of 2008. Nice work.
One can only imagine who is next on the list. Who might be the first to re-new his vows? Which female might ask one of our own to be hers this coming leap-year? And which one of our love struck Miller players might don a french maids outfit and change his name to Alice? So much intrigue as we again turn the corner on a new year and gear up for another season of love.
Kickoff will be 2:00 at Hoys office for BBQ and cards followed by runs to Jake O'connors and Haskells for the first game and Maynards and Bayside for the nightcap. There is a great Raegge band at Maynards that night and I am sure there will be fun to be had by all.
I suggest that this be a guys night and maybe the women can offer rides home, however, knowing that anything over three hours away from your respective spouses/girlfiends can cause high anxiety for some, we will leave that up to you.
Ber and I can just hang out if nothing else.
Let me know via e-mail if you are planning on coming and ask anyone else connected hoiwever loosely to our ball club.
Now for the big news: We are going to be playing three or four games between the 12th and the 16th of July against team USA, Team Tiawan and Team Canada who will be warming up for the World U19 tournament by playiong each other and the Millers in the Twin Cities that week. We are the only other team invited for this and it should be great. As of right now we are playing the opening game vs. team USA at TARGET FIELD on the 12th of July. I will give more details as they arsie.
Vote for One Candidate Only
A. Lunch McKenzie
B. Bob Berset
C. Jerry Schmidt
D. Joe Shallenberger Jr.
E. Mike Mason
F. Jim Benson
Write in Votes Accepted. Leave answers on Guestbook
The summer movie season is here and once again our favorite Millers are starring on the Big Screen:
YEAR ONE
A documentary about two hunter gatherers (Gator and Ber) who go on a perilous hunt to find the most realistic major league baseball video game and then play it incessantly. In a Penn and Teller like sequence Ber does all the talking while Gator just occasionally grunts when he retires one of Ber's video hitters.
THE TAKING OF DALUM 6-4-3
The title says it all as our veteran second sacker goes through a Ground Hogs Day-like experience in which he hits a tailor made double play ball time after time until there are no helmets left to break. This gut wrenching drama contains scenes of ineptitude and violence and should considered dangerous.
DRAG ME TO HELL
Ross Roehl plays Satan in this dark drama in which he forces evildoers of all sorts to spend hours at a time locked in a Chevette with the heat on in 100 degree weather and a pair of Dalum's used game socks in the back seat. Just remember: Its only a movie.
LAND OF THE LOST
This prehistoric comedy depicts Geoffrey, Brox and Shally on a routine expedition; well you know the rest. Shallenberger adds a bit of realism with his unkempt cro-magnum hair, complimented by loin cloth and Moses sandals. Bray and Broxey play Metro-Cavemen resplendant in animal skin bucket hats, designer crotch wraps and open toed mules.
THE HANGOVER
This dark satire depicts the friutless lives of the current Millers after the last team member gets married. With no more showers, grooms dinners, bachelor parties and nuptuals to attend the team spirals downward into a malaise of epic proportions. The recurring theme of having no life outside the team is brought to life as a desheveled Hoy hangs out at I 94 and Radio Drive trying to coerse prospective ring-buyers into signing a Riverview contract.
BRAY-LUCIA GALA IS HORS DEVOURES IN UPCOMING MILLER NUPTUAL FEAST
Much like a palate cleansing salad before a seven course meal, young Geoff Bray married Jess Lucia thus signaling the opening of wedding season for the love struck Millers. The wedding was storybook-like with bride and groom tearfully dancing the night away amid marble fountains and rich mahogany to the delight of guests, spectators and papparazzi alike. Many of the Miller faithful, however, left the event feeling like Kobyashi after his first dozen hotdogs, knowing that this was just a precursor of what is yet to come on the Miller Love Tour. Hats off to the teams women who came dressed to the nines in a variety of cutting edge fashions the likes of which will be tough to dupicate in Stewartville. Most fashionable groomsman was none other than Big Frank Hanzlik; and our own Joe Shallenberger of course captured Best Hair for the umpteenth time consecutively.
The "Love Conquers All" tour now shifts it's attention from the glamour that is Wayzata to the more humble venue of Stewartville, MN for the Shallenberger nuptual extravaganza. One can only imagine that notes were taken, secrects were shared and new ideas cultivated at the Carlson Towers last evening that will find their way down 218 in time for the Labor Day fiesta. Rumor has it the Austin Greyhounds are planning a labor day tournament and inviting the Millers as well as teams from seven different equatorial countries. We hope Joe can make the majority of the games, however, we are not insensitve enough to expect him to miss the post wedding street dance. Brandon Broxey will then take center stage for a coming together at, I would imagine, some northern suburb. Details to follow when the exact location and details are ferretted out.
Tina Turner once said "Whats Love Got To Do With It?". After witnessing the opening salvo in the wedding march of the Millers, I believe I would have to answer: Everything.
All in all this is quite an undertaking for our ballclub. The Millers would again like to thank all our loyal followers who help us to shill shamelessly for some attention and for some deeper meaning to our lives.
Friday night RAW will feature masks, cages and lots of flair
The Minnetonka Millers in hopes of beefing up a lagging fanbase will resort to trickery and chacanery in trying to dupe more Minnetonkans into attending weekend Miller games. I realize that eight of the last twelve State Championships doesent quite inspire confidence in the public so how about some wrastling. The team will transform the area behind the pitchers mound into a squared circle after the Millers contest and invite opponents, fans and all-comers to try their luck against the likes of Ryan "Sasquatch" Dalum, Steve "The Ritalin Dealer" Schmitz, Tony "River Horse" Richards, Joe "The Love Thing" Shallenberger and a cast of other Miller grapplers. Ross Roehl, the reigning Intercontinental Champion, will not only defend his title against Rollo Montgomery Jr. but will also body slam the new Miller Mascot as a sort of pre-game ritual. In the evenings inital matchup the Nepotistic Tag-Team of Berset and Goethke hailing under the moniker "Gators Thumpers" will show off their new burnt orange leotards and leggings in a special "Indian Strap Match" against several inebriated members of the Mystic Lake Tribal Counsel. Scott Coolong and Adam Berte will bring their own brand of athleticism and sass to the ring in "High Fliers" like fashion under the nickname "The Posers". Plan on the match ending on some sort of a flying head scissors or one of their
many submission holds. Due to unavailability of Greg Yee (love), the Millers have focused their attention for ring announcer on none other than the catcher from Edina who tried to take Coolys leg out with a deke last summer. We figure a classy guy like him is just what we need to put this whole event over the top. If anyone has a Freddie Blassy top hat and cane, could you please notify the planning commitee. For promotional purposes the team is planning to use posters of Dalum in a tight fitting hairy jumpsuit striding in "Big Foot" like fashion as featured in the Zabruder tapes seen so commonly on "strange but true" public access TV shows. The tag line will read: SOME CALL HIM ABOMINABLE, SOME CALL HIM YETI, WE CALL HIM SASQUATCH! The female fans might get a kick out of Schmitz who will attempt to preform a bump & grind routine between matches while equaling the Guiness Book record for most flair worn while provacatively dancing at a sanctioned MBA event. Presumably some opposition for the evenings affair may come from lefty Brandon Broxey and his web-site faithful, who being die in the wool liberals will complain about almost anything. The whole Dalum project has PETA in an uproar as well, however, we just told them that Ryan is only a well perpetuated myth.
Avery is healthy and happy after spending a few extra days in the hospital with some breathing issues. Thanks for all the prayers and we look forward to formally meeting miss Avery at the Millers shower on Friday the 29th of May at the Hoys.
